My dad's leaving in a few hours. His family in the province,Bicol,is having a reunion. His side of the family. My mom,bro and I aren't going.

There's this never ceasing tension between my mom and my dad's family. I'm just doing my mom a favor by not going. It'll just be disrespectful to my mom by 'fraternizing' with her enemies. HER,not mine.

I enjoy the homey ambience my dad's side exude. They're always merry and gay whenever they are together. It's from them that i do feel that sense of warmth that is illicited by a real family. One that's not always fighting, either quarreling or gearing up for another war.

My mom,bro and I just came to Singapore almost a month ago. It just makes me a tiny bit mad that my dad would leave us here to go and see his family. Granted that it'll only be for a couple of days,less than a week. Also, he hasnt seen them in a few years. But we're here.HIS OWN FAMILY is here and he's packing his stuff as i type and will be out the door in an hour or so.

Maybe if we gave my dad the feeling of being part of a family then he wouldnt mind staying with us even though he hasnt seen his sisters,brothers and mother in years. I can't even remeber the last time we've spent an entire day without any shouting or punches.

I cant even remember a time when we were happy.

I guess i'm being selfish this way.I just cant help being mad.We wont be seeing him for yet another year.

There are times i wish they would separate so they'lls top hurting each other.Other times i feel like strangling them,there are also those times i wish i were bleeding to death. I'd rather shed blood than sit through the screaming,kicking and punching.

I've once said that home was a war zone,i've never denied it. I dont know if i ever will.